The question about Lot’s wife looking back deals with being disobedient to the word of God and to looking longingly at the past rather than forward to the future. Her husband appears to have had a good position in town and she would likely have enjoyed a decent home and all that goes with it. Now she's told to run for her life and leave everything behind. Perhaps if Lot’s wife had not turned around and had fled with him and their daughters, there would not have been any incest.
That said, my current situation makes it a little easier to understand her reticence to leave her home. This time last year I was packing my RV for the return trip from my Michigan summer home to my Arizona winter home. In Michigan I’m a member/owner in a really beautiful RV Park located in the Bible belt of Michigan. We have our own outdoor chapel and Bible studies. It is an absolutely wonderful place to spend the summer. When I get back to Arizona I regularly attend the local Baptist church and less often the Assembly of God church with a couple of close friends. I attend Bible studies both in church and in an environment that really seems close to Jesus, in a 10' x 20' tent in the Arizona desert. Not an exciting life but a fulfilling life that I was enjoying very much.
In January of this year my mother became very ill so as a result I moved in with her to help care for her. Family love and responsibility can be draining on one hand and fulfilling on the other. I've had some very enjoyable times with my mother and some very frustrating times being here. I don’t care for Southern California and often joke that I'm surrounded by atheists, agnostics, New Agers and Catholics. Also, the park my mom lives in and is for seniors so no laughter of children, rather it seems like never ending visits to Doctor’s offices and medical labs. While I regret my loss of freedom, I can't help but feel guilty about having such of feelings.
Now what does all this have to do with lots wife? For some reason this last week I’ve been doing a lot of looking back. While God hasn’t turned me into a pillar of salt, I do feel very torn between duty to my mother and duty to myself. Perhaps it's because I turned 71 last month and I see my life slipping away. In the past when I stayed with my mom to help care for her it was just temporary, this time it’s for the foreseeable future. I suspect that after eight months God may find my requests for help in accepting my situation to be whining. I don't know what God has in mind for me but I'm learning that looking back is just too painful and too conflicting.
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